Jay is back. It's about fucking time.

Here's the most depressing article on a "good marriage" that I have ever read. Holy crap, can't we aim a little higher?

Who knew the USPS had this kind of power?

I'm still laughing. Just read it — especially if you've been 'doubly blessed.' Too goddamned funny.

Kathryn has great friends.

Beer bottle and panties. Now that's a still life.

(UPDATE: I'm not pregnant, Wired for Noise is. Sheesh, people, thanks for the emails, but really 3 crazies is enough for me!)

One of our own has made it to the big time. Congratulations!

Hey Paul, don't burn out Please. It seems like you have a really good heart.

Measles is coming back. I'll just keep my thoughts about those who don't vaccinate to myself.

I wish I knew the backstory on the ending of this great post.

She's out!

Fingers crossed.

Karrie asks a great question.

Call me a product-shilling whore, but this is really funny.

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And yes, I've been fussing around with 'Go Read It Today' for about a year. I still can't quite figure out how to integrate it properly into this blog, but for now at least, here's another post. If you haven't noticed, I've been doing it in my sidebar for a while now, but it doesn't go out in my feed. I'm still working out the right balance for it all… Let me know if you have any suggestions :)

UPDATE: OK, now I've taken the 'Go Read It Today' links out of the sidebar. I'll go back to posting them periodically. Let's see how that works.

In last week's packet of school forms was an invitation for Henry to join the Cub Scouts. It has everything he would love to do: camping, knife skills, hiking, earning badges, first aid, ceremony, procedure and so on, but they also have their Morally Straight clause.

Boy Scouts regards homosexual conduct as not morally straight as required in the Scout Oath. Boy Scouts of America

I can't let my boys be part of an organization which discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation, and you woud think that in California, where apparently it is "the land of fruits and nuts," there wouldn't be a lot of support for scouting. Boy howdy, you'd be wrong.

I've got 3 sons. Statistically there's a decent chance that one is gay. What then? What if one of my boys is gay. And in Boy Scouts. How would I explain to him that I allowed him to join an organization which will kick him out the instant he decided to tell anyone he was gay? What would I say to his brothers?

What if all three of my boys are straight but they have a gay friend? That friend wouldn't be able to join them in Scouting. And why not? Because Boy Scouts of America is a close-minded organization. And I knew that and let my kids join anyway.

What if my three boys were gay or straight, but our family had friends who were gay? Hey wait — that's our actual, not theoretical situation. How do I explain to my children that I let them join an organization which says that our friends are morally wrong?

Fortunately, this won't come up because I'm not going to let my boys join the Boy Scouts. But I have a question for those of you in Scouting: how would you answer these questions?

Photo credit

Heard in the other room:

Henry [knowing a sucker is born every minute]: Give me your arm. I promise I won't kiss it.

Ed: AEIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Henry [proudly]: That's an indian sunburn.

Ed [running to me]: Mommy! Henry twisted my arm!

Me: Yes, that's called an indian burn.

Ed: What's an indian burn?

Me [banging head on wall]: What he did to your arm.

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Somehow I've managed to raise the second coming of the Three Stooges. Woop! Woop!

Today we took the boys to see Space Chimps, and it was pretty cute. Everyone had fun, but they all agreed that Clone Wars was better! Afterward we had lunch at California Pizza Kitchen (do they have those outside of California?) and followed it with a surprise trip to THE LEGO STORE!

It was worth the (ack) $150 we eventually spent to see how excited they were to see so many Lego sets in one place. We were definitely the loudest family in there as all three boys tore around yelling to each other about what they had just found. I now feel kind of guilty that we'd never taken them before, but on the other hand we've managed to pay our mortgage up until now, so I guess it has worked out better this way.

They're currently at the kitchen table building away, and they have no idea that I have one more surprise up my sleeve: a copy of the first Star Wars movie. (Episode IV for those who might insist that it isn't really the first movie. Oh, and come over here so I can punch you.) Not sure if I'm going to bust it out tonight or tomorrow morning, but it will completely blow their minds. I CANNOT wait!

We've been having a great time on our vacation-at-home week, but now I want to think of something really spectacular for tomorrow. Dancing girls? Bringing a circus to our house? A visit by an astronaut? Hmmm, I'll get back to you.

Photo: Lego Store.

Because that would seriously be so much easier than buying them shoes. Today we had to run and get 2 pairs of soccer cleats before they sell out, plus I need to get everyone some sneakers.

We got the cleats in person, but I've been doing the sneakers online. I really really loves me some Zappos and Endless, but even so buying kid shoes makes me want to scream.

First, Henry and Eddie are adamant that they need light-up sneaks. OK, fine, but that limits the selection quickly. Then every brand is sized differently from every other brand, so I end up buying 3 pairs in different sizes and then send the rest back.

The day after I order, the shoes arrive and I have to wrestle the boys into and out of a frillion pairs. Send back the ones that didn't work, and sometimes even place another order. Some days I think it will go on forever and my children will never have shoes.

However, I have to say — I would rather do anything than take them to a physical shoe store. Yikes, I need a vacation after a trip like that. Whine whine whine, tantrum, complain… Yuck.